Just for fun, as is our habit, this is an interview with fat macho cat Viggo. This time I have asked him his opinion about Spring.
V: What's with the tulips? Where is my portrait?
Q: Sorry, I thought: Spring...tulips...I'll try to find a nice picture of you instead.
V: Too right you will!
V: Hmpf. Slightly better. Not my best photo, though.
Right. Here goes.
I am an Autumn cat. We Autumn-born cats are known for our tenacity, our joie-de-vivre and our panache.
But I must admit I do like Spring. It's nice to be able to go outside without freezing my nonexistent balls off, so to speak. And everything smells fresh and delicious. The fish wake up. And the frogs and toads start hopping around the garden again. I do like a good romp with them. Did you know that they scream when you nibble their legs?
Q: You do not! Tell me that you don't do that, that's cruel!
V: Don't be such a wuss, woman! I only tease them a bit, I don't eat them. You know I prefer my crunchy nibbles.
And then the butterflies wake up, and the bees, and...
What are you doing now?
Q: I've taken some new photos of you, seeing that you weren't satisfied with the other one.
V: Let's have a look then.
V: Jeez, that's not much better, is it? Not what you call an improvement! I'm out of focus!
Q: No, it's called soft-focus.
V: It makes me look fat. It's bad for my image.
Q: Not at all, you look sweet.
V: Enough! I do not want to look 'sweet'! I am the defender of this garden and house, other cats won't take me seriously ever again when they see me as 'sweet'. Remember last Saturday night, hm, do I need to remind you? That rascal from two houses over sneaked in through your bedroom balcony doors, and I jumped him? Showed him, didn't I?
No comments:
Post a Comment