Oi! We Actually Have A Tropics Schedule Imposed on The Wetlands!

Temperatures have soared to 34 degrees C during the last two days. I mean...here! In The Wetlands! People don't know what has hit them! Our schools have imposed a tropics schedule.
I wrote a micro poem about it. Hang on, while I attempt to dive into my heat-fuddled brain.

Right, found it - right next to the grades for 1F (disappointing) and 2A (wonderful).

Unaccustomed heat Produces uneasy dreams Of freedom Untying ties Forging new ones Cherishing unsought declarations Of tenderness

Come to think of it (ever the teacher, sorry, professional deformation) you cannot forge ties, can you. You forge chains. Well, you'll probably get my drift anyway.Our newspapers are full of good advice about how to battle this unaccustomed heat (uneasy dreams or not). I'll para-phrase.

1. drink plenty of fluids, preferably water. (Plenty of water around here, though it is not so advisable to drink it! You'll probably die from Weill's disease, a terrible death)
2. have at least one ice-cream a day (No problem, bring'em on!)
3. Do not lock babies, dogs, cats, Granny or your ailing boss in your car whilst getting the shopping in (And our cows are very susceptible to heatstroke too!)
4. Do not attempt too strenuous work (Ha! tell that to us teachers! We are in the last frantic struggle to finish the school year without sudden death)
5. Try to do your work before 12 pm and after 4 pm. (What???)
6. Put Granny, your babies, your boss or your pooches in a paddling pool (Ever tried putting my dog in a paddling pool? Not advisable; her legs may be failing, but her teeth function very well)
7. Suck on ice-cubes (Ehm...This actually was ad verbatim in the newspaper list. I'd like to amend it: put down some ice-cubes in your boxers. There - much more effective!)

Weather prediction for tomorrow: 36 degrees. Aw...I need to finish my lesson schedule for next year...

Good ideas to keep cool, anyone?