Viggo's Blog: Humans Are Silly!

Hiya fans, Viggo here.
I simply have to share something with you... Can you all stop giving us such awkward silly and often plain stupid names please?
See this great mate of mine? (The cat, the cat!)

He's the one from the corner, and we have bonded (as you can see for yourself) and have become fast friends. I call him Mate (He calls me Mate too, for some reason). And then yesterday I heard his woman call him in the street (we were just sitting on the pavement shooting the breeze), and do you know what she calls him?
Simply.
My friend's name is Simply.
She had this explanation for my woman about how his twin brother was called Red (Simply Red - right...Whooooooo cares) but was killed whilst crossing the road, and blablablah.

I ask you! Frith! First of all 'simply' is not even a moniker,  and second it is an adverb, for crying out loud. Dutch humans should not give their cats English names they do not understand. Even worse, when you turn it into some sort of Dutch, you get the word 'simpel' which means 'not difficult' but also 'not very clever'.

Obviously I put this to Mate, but he shrugged it off and said not to worry, he gets fed very well and his humans are good to him.
Well, I would not stand for it! Very glad my woman calls me Viggo. At least that is not English. And when she sometimes calls me Stop Being So Annoying, or Don't Do That, I ignore it.

So there!

Viggo's Blog: Yeah...Right!

Hiya fans, Viggo here.
How are you all this morning, feeling good and feisty?

As you can see, I am taking it easy after an eventful morning. Want to know what happened to me?
Well, first of all, it snowed! I was just waking up in my customary spot on the just heating up radiator in my woman's bedroom (it starts heating up at 6.30) when I spotted that white stuff falling from the sky. Obviously I woke her up, so that she could check it out as well.

Then, three paint-splattered men walked into my house, and walked out again (nothing doing, apparently), but who sneaked in as well? That red and white tom from down the block! He raced straight up to the attic, and my woman raced after him calling that he had no business in our house, and that he should get out, etcetera.

Within a minute she came down the stairs again with him hanging most unbecomingly from her arm. She has this trick of picking us up under our bellies, you see (hate it, hate it!), with her hand towards your face, and you cannot do anything, your muscles simply disobey you, your paws are hanging down on four sides of her arm and that's IT.
I once heard her explain this move: she told my young woman that she has picked up this trick from one of her very first cats, a black mother of six, who had the habit of carrying her young in her mouth all through the house apparently, and they just hung there, so she thought to try that herself. Well, why she doesn't try it in her mouth is beyond me (she has one), but anyway, it is so humiliating to just hang there as a grown cat!

And while we are on the subject of humiliation: I have spotted The White Goddess touching noses with that black bruiser from around the corner. What does he have that I do not?
My woman saw as well, and said not to fret, that he lived here first, and not to give up.
Yeah...Right!

Oh, btw, just to tell you that I heard my woman mumbling just now that apparently Google+ has done something to her account and that she can't get to her communities anymore? Didn't know she was in any other communities - I AM her community!

Viggo's Blog: I Have Been Banned From Upstairs at Night!

Hi fans, Viggo here.
The unmentionable has happened: my woman has told me in no uncertain terms that I am not to wake up the entire house at night by jumping unto the doorhandles.

I mean, WHY???

She is so.....mean!
Doesn't she realize that it is only from a feeling of warmth, love and a necessity of crunchy nibbles that I try to get some attention when it is dark?

I have tried to reason with them, really I have tried. Only last week I have done my business on the bed of the young woman, just to make clear that she should not ignore me at night. For some reason she started to make strange sounds like 'eeeeeeeeeuw' and 'yuck' and 'Muuuuuuuum!' And can I help it that her duvet wouldn't fit in the washing machine? Is it my fault that 'Mum' had to wash it under the shower because it was too large to fit anywhere else? If you ask me, my woman should have told the young woman to wash it herself.

Anyway, I noticed a distinctly icy reception from then onwards and the young woman started closing her bedroom door at night. Well, tough titty, I have known how to open doors from when I was 6 months old, so...duh.

But now, since I have been opening that door repeatedly last night, those humans have put their heads together and decided I should 'be put out'. Because they 'need their sleep'.
They should do as all responsible cats do and nap during the day!

I'll let you know how things evolve.
Perhaps I'll need backup.

Tarrah! XX