Still thinking about the same issues - do you feel at home in this day and age?

Hi, bon soir, France :-)
I feel justified in greeting my French readers, as they have been absent so far, and suddenly they have arrived...great, welcome!

This will be yet another follow up on the post about a positive mindset and the theory that many people can't keep up with the pace of our modern life and thus feel (mildly or severely) stressed out and even depressed. And stick to a 'hey, let's see the glass as half full, for that's better for our health' attitude (like me, and a couple of you who told me)

I'm writing this seated at my garden bench, watching a crescent moon and listening to the numerous birds singing their little hearts out around me. We are experiencing a 'false' summer, when it is only April...amazing weather! And I try to enjoy it to the maximum, for in our Wetlands you never know how 'much' summer you will get from year to year.

Mind you, there is a storm front moving in, with thunder clouds, so you may see me fleeing inside soon.

Depression linked to the pace of life.

That's the ongoing theme of this post. I was distracted, sorry.

One of my favourite writers, Redmond O'Hanlon, states he was born in the wrong century. His reaction to this fact of life is to live his life largely as if he was born a hundred years ago. Being a bestseller writer, he has the means to do so (at least, that is my assumption).

But my son, 21 in two weeks time, says he feels like this often, as well. He usually shouts it in frustration when some piece of technology refuses to do what he wants it to do.

And I certainly know I feel like this! I can bring tears to my own eyes (sentimental biddy that I am) by remembering the many letters I used to get every month. I am a great letter writer (hah!), and my average was 5 letters a week during the seventies, eighties, nineties. Until email arrived, and the letters I got petered out. But were they replaced by emails? Nope. Hence the sentimental nostalgic tears.

And now we have Whatsapp. I have installed it to keep in touch with my daughter. Sigh. But it's pretty handy sometimes, and I'm nifty with it. ("Where R U??? You said you would take the 10 pm bus?????")

So, I hanker after letters on real paper with real ink. And curse my laptop sometimes when I'm supposed to internet-bank. Hate it! And walk flights of stairs at work to actually try to talk to people instead of sending them email after email, although (yep) I do that too.

But I suffer from stress related nasty little thingies. Like migraines (thankfully not often) and backaches (often), and skin rashes (damn). And I wonder if all this stress is:

1. work-related (probably)

2. age-related (I'm definitely post-menopausal)

3. day-and-age-related (I can't keep up with technology for a fact, and can't be bothered with lots of things younger people find very important )

4. relationship-related (hubby is post-menopausal too, whether he wants to or not)

5. food-related (I'm convinced that the food we buy in the supermarket is pure poison. Well, almost pure poison)

I would rather travel by horsepower than fly. Yes, I know, not very practical if you want to reach the US. But still.

I prefer 80 km/h to 150 km/h.

My favourite pastime is having a good meal with friends, preferably al fresco.

I never watch TV in bed (I don't have TV in bed). I read. Or listen to music.

I walk to the shops, or cycle if it takes more than 20 minutes to get there.

I would love to dress myself in flowing robes and skirts, very witch-like (but don't, as my pupils would freak out and so would my boss, and come to think of it my husband and kids too)

So...all this adapting I do to 2014, is that what causes my stress???

Your thoughts?

Is the pace of life too much for many of us?

Hi there,

In a follow up on last night's post (about a positive mindset), and a discussion by readers of my post about this topic on FB, I would like to pose the following question.

Is the fact that the pace of life has speeded up so enormously for the last couple of hundred years, and especially during the last century, the reason for the great increase in people being depressed and experiencing a burn out in Western Europe?

Or: is it simply that it is more accepted that people admit to being depressed and/or burnt out ?(thank you, Sabine)

Let me know your thoughts on the subject, please?

The Positive Mindset - Does it work?

Good evening, all of you all over the world.
This evening I would like to talk to you about being positive. With a capital P.
It has been the mindset to have, lately. Ever since, during the seventies, someone started publishing about half full glasses and taking life with a cheery disposition, positivism has spread like an ink spot.

Taking the gloomy view is simply not done. And it isn't just in magazines and on websites for the optimistically happy few. It has spread onto the work floor of ordinary workers (like you and me). 

Managers ooze positive sound bites everywhere. The 'go for it!', 'live life to the max', 'look out for number one', 'think positive thoughts out of the box and smile when doing it' generation of 35 to 45 years old team-building, boot-camping, ultra-fit positivity junkies seem to bounce through their working day high on adrenaline and positive vibes (and cans of Redbull).

And take a look on Facebook or Instagram. The happy photos and quotes there outnumber the gloomy ones. So there is a 'need' for happiness. But is this a need born, or created ?

I tend to see myself as a optimist. 

I kept my diaries from when I was a young woman, and all through job loss, divorce, moving to another country, another traumatic love affair, and moving back again, the pages are filled with hope, optimism and "oh well, it didn't work out this time, but next time it surely will" type of entries.

But there is a certain stubbornness about it as well. My family tended to take the gloomy side, if they had a choice, and my instinctive immediate reaction to this was to move to the opposite side of the fence.

I would be positive if it killed me, sort of thing.

And has it worked? Has luck smiled down on me, because I am a happy hippy type?

When I add all the pros and cons, I would say...not.

Oh dear.

I have never won any substantial sum of money, for instance, even though I play in the lottery and optimistically wish myself rich every time there is a draw due. I have read The Secret, but all my sending my wishes into the universe has not paid any dividend. So far.(See, ever the optimist). I go into work with a positive mindset every day, but ever so often travel back disheartened and frustrated.

So has it made my life better? Now that's another matter! I'm not that lucky in things, but I do believe it has made my life a little better. Fast approaching sixty (holy moly!!!), people always estimate me ten years younger. Hey, that's a win, isn't it?

So, what about you?

Do you believe in all this optimism thinga-ma-bob?

And I have it easy, in my Western, safe, rich, flat (though damp) country. How hard is it to stay positive when you live in...the Congo, for instance? Would it cross your mind? Would you have the time for it?

Let me know your thoughts.

Making our world just a tiny bit prettier ...guerilla gardening.

Good (Sunday) morning to you! Hey, you over there in China, ni hao?
This is a post about guerilla gardening.

When we moved into our house 21 years ago, our garden was an empty nettle infested, paved bit of rubble. The guy who had lived there before us wasn't into gardening (an understatement if ever there was one!)

Now I had a horticultural certificate from the City & Guilds in London, but this was my very first private garden. So during the long cold winter months my husband and I planned what our garden was supposed to look like, and sowed thousands of seeds in seed trays, which were literally everywhere in our house. In the living room, in the bathroom, in the attic, in the kitchen. My baby son's first word was 'mama' but I swear one of the follower-uppers was 'plant' (except he couldn't pronounce the l, so it sounded like pant)

In February/March we dug up all the nettles (leaving a few right at the back, for the butterflies), dug out all the cracked paving stones, cut down the half-dead hedge, and planted out our seedlings.

It took years of trial and error. The soil, even though we mulch, is quite poor. So my beloved Alceas won't grow, and neither do the Paeonias. After buying new plants and trying to replant them for a couple of years, trying this corner and that, we gave up on them, and concentrated on plants which will grow in our North-East facing soil.

But, I'm happy and proud to say, we now have a garden which is lovely in all seasons, and the curiosity of the street (not that I care about that, but my neighbours all remark about our garden...usually ending their remark with: "not our cup of tea, all that hard work"). 

Guerilla gardeners.
So, what do you do, when you have a thriving garden, which produces seedlings, shoots and bushes growing too rampant? Do you throw away all that bounty?
Of course not! You dig up and replant elsewhere. In the communal park, for instance :-)

This is at the back of our plot, where we've replanted Ribes, Red currants and the honey scented Spirea x arguta. The neighbourhood kids love the red currants when there are ripe, but unfortunately the neighbourhood dogs pee against the lower branches (not stopped by their owners....unbelievable!)

The bamboe is one of the few survivors of our predecessor. We didn't want it overgrowing our garden, so took it out and had it in a pot for years, and then planted it out in a boring corner of the park. After the terribly cold winter of 2012 it seemed to have disappeared, but look, it's back! And Theo has planted Hemerocallis in this bit as well, which will be blooming in May/June.

This is one of my favourite bushes: a red hazelnut. It is only just coming into leaf, and its nuts are gorgeous. This is a shoot off of our own bush, which is giving us kilos of nuts every autumn.

The Helleborus is a legacy of Wibe, our son, who had a thing for them a couple of years ago, and collected different species. We got too many, so planted them out in the park, where they thrive.

You don't see them yet, but in this corner I have sown lots of Verbascum olympicum and Digitalis. But the purple and white Honesty are already showing their colours, and so are the Lamiums.

Okay, I'm going to love you and leave you now, but not before I've shown you the latest pride and joy: the parrot tulip in our greenhouse, the first in bloom. Isn't it gorgeous?!

For all of you who were betrayed.

Sometimes it happens out of the blue.
You feel you know someone (someone you've known and loved since 1987!) and WHAM!
In one instant you realise you don't know her at all. Not really.

I'm not going to tell you what happened to me today, exactly. That serves no purpose, as you don't know the person involved.
But let it suffice that I (my trust) was betrayed today. And it hurts.

Another friend (FB, but hey, a friend is a friend is a friend) told me not to fret. Karma would bite her on the bum.
I should do what is good for me. And forgiveness will be best for me. So...I'll try to forgive.

But first I will let Chi Coltrane tell it like it is!

Plants boring? No way! They soothe the soul.

Good morning to you, how lovely to see you on this wonderful Spring day!
The sun is out, my back door is opened as wide as can be (thus I am sitting typing this with a t-shirt, 2 vests and my thickest jersey on, but hey...it's Spring!) and I've just returned from a morning sniff with Gina.

And I thought it might be fun to 'take you along' on my walk, so to speak.

We start out in my back garden. Just so:

Then we turn left, and attempt to enter the community park. I say attempt, for Gina likes a nice loooooooooooong sniff here...

We walk straight ahead, and in fact leave the park again, and cross over to the cycle path which leads to our neighbouring village of Oudenhoorn.

The nettles (non-stinging) are very early this year. When Gina feels the need to squat here, I have time to take a photo. A win-win.

We walk along the path, and turn right at the nudist camp (honestly! They must be so cold), and turn right again onto the Noordse Molenweg.

As far as I know this is the only piece of unpaved public road left in Hellevoetsluis, and it is the border between Hellevoetsluis and Oudenhoorn. At the end, we turn right again (yep, you've guessed it, we are walking in a circle :)

A selfie to prove I was there.

Gina is still sniffing as if her life depends on it, and I am getting cold (it is 8 degrees C), so I drag her along and we turn right into the park and cross a 'meadow'. Vigilance here, for both other dogs and their offerings.

And hey presto, we are back at the back garden gate.

My first action is to put the greenhouse door ajar.

My tulips are coming along nicely, don't you think?

And have a look at the other beauties in our garden!

And this is only the beginning! 

This period, the end of March, always lifts my spirit. It's a better boost than wine (and lasts longer and doesn't give you a headache). And usually March is wintry still, with icy winds. But this year we've had no Winter to speak of, and nature is 4 weeks early with everything. That is a nice (climate?) change.

How is your garden coming along? Post me a picture of it, it is allowed you know!

I wish you a great weekend. Have fun, sniff the fresh air (if you have some) and enjoy yourself!

Update on the update - hundreds of people filing an official complaint against Wilders

In the city of Nijmegen (in the East of The Netherlands) mayor Hubert Bruls wrote on the council website that he was going to file a discrimination complaint against Geert Wilders. "There are times that you cannot look away", he said. And suggested perhaps other people would follow suit.
Watch what happened:

The large man with the red tie is the mayor, followed by his councilmen and hundreds of citizens who came from all corners of the city. Lots or Moroccans, but also lots of others.

The Moroccan colleagues at my school were touched and proud. One of them, Nordin,  comes from the city of Nijmegen, where he arrived as a 10 year old boy. His Dad was in that line of people, waiting for hours, for filing a complaint takes time.

The immediate effect of all the hullabaloo so far, is that many people in my country feel the need to speak out. Either in support of Wilders and his views, or against his views, or against his manner of expressing his views and the discrimination of an ethnic group of people(like I do).

Some of his arguments do ring true. 

Yes, a large percentage of crimes are committed by Moroccan youths. Yes, the word 'whore' is the first thing that seems to come to mind of many young boys when you speak to them to point out some wrongdoing. But I live in a predominantly 'white' socially deprived neighbourhood, and I hear that word out of the mouths of the white street kids as well.

My point of view is that everyone should have the same civil rights and the same civil (in both meanings of the word) duties. Call me naïve, but is this so much to ask?